What to Do When Your Child Won’t Eat at School: A Back-to-School Feeding Plan

Back-to-school excitement can quickly turn into worry when your child struggles to eat away from home. Will they open their containers? Will familiar food look different by lunchtime? Will the room be too loud or the eating period too short?

The goal for the first weeks of school is not to expand your child’s diet. It is to help them feel safe, capable, and adequately nourished while they adjust to a new eating environment. Here is a practical plan you can begin this week.

1. What to do this week:

Practice "school lunches" at home on the weekend. Engage your child in helping to pack their lunch so they are not surprised or overwhelmed when they open their lunch box at school. You could make it a fun routine:

• Ask your child to go and find their "cubby", get their lunchbox, and bring it to the table.
• Practice opening the containers.
• Talk about what the foods look like and what they are called.
• If you are trying to introduce something new in your child's lunch at school, try it at home first (e.g., pasta in a thermos could be eaten from a thermos at home on the weekend).
• You could talk to your child about what worked well for them and what didn't.

2. What to pack on the first day:

Most of your child’s school lunch should be foods that your child likes and can eat successfully (safe foods). You could try to include one "learning food" in the lunchbox (depending upon your child's tolerance for this).

• Depending on your child’s comfort level, invite them to open the container, look at the learning food, or simply bring it home. The goal is exposure without pressure to taste or eat it.
• Avoid pressuring or expecting your child to taste or eat the food. If they choose to explore it, ask what they noticed. Focus on “meeting new foods” and building curiosity.
• Keep it fun and talk about how your child used their senses to explore the new food.
  • "Did it have a big or little smell?"
  • "What colour was your learning food today?"
  • "Did it feel crunchy?"
  • "Did you see your friends eating any interesting foods today?"
• Try cutting learning foods into fun shapes with a cookie cutter and using small colourful containers to make the food more fun and interesting. Many kids do better with "deconstructed foods" versus mixed dishes. I call it the "kid charcuterie." 

3. What to expect in the coming weeks:

If your child has significant food selectivity or feeding delays, aversions, or other feeding challenges, there may be an initial period of time where they do not eat well at school or childcare. Some kids need several weeks to adjust to eating in a new environment, so the adjustment period may be a little bumpy. With repeated exposure and routine, many kids gradually begin to eat better and accept a wider variety of foods.

4. What to do when lunch comes home untouched:

If your child went the entire day without eating, I suggest offering a mini-meal versus a snack right after school. By mini-meal, I mean something small, but substantial, with a balance of foods from two to three different food groups:

• Mini-meal example 1: Half a grilled cheese sandwich and sliced berries.
• Mini-meal example 2: Toast with nut butter and apple slices.
• Mini-meal example 3: High-protein yogurt with fruit.
• Keep this mini-meal short and sweet (approximately 10 minutes).
• Try to allow a 2.5-hour break before offering dinner (Note: If your family eats dinner very early (e.g., 5 pm) I suggest skipping the mini-meal and waiting until dinner).

*Prepare foods in a way that is appropriate for your child’s age and eating abilities. Modify potential choking hazards as needed, and check the school’s allergy policy before packing nut products.

5. When to seek additional feeding help:

If your child has been attending school for 4-6 weeks without improvement in their eating, it might be a good idea to touch base with their teacher to discuss your concerns and explore options to help. Some of the kids I work with benefit from eating with just one "lunch buddy" versus sitting at the table with a larger group. Other kids eat better when they are seated facing away from the larger group of kids eating in order to help them stay regulated and focus on their own food. Mealtimes can be very overwhelming for kids with sensory processing differences, especially in the classroom - think of the bright lights, loud noises, food smells, communication demands, etc. This especially applies to neurodivergent kids, who may benefit from mealtime accommodations to help them stay regulated and eat successfully. Working with your child's teacher can often help to create a school feeding environment that is more conducive to eating. 

If your child regularly goes the entire school day without eating or drinking, speak with their healthcare or feeding professional for individualized guidance.

Will going to school help my child eat better?

In my experience, children with feeding difficulties can benefit from attending school or childcare. Eating with other children and following a structured meal/snack routine may support their feeding development and help them become more comfortable around a wider variety of foods.

Benefits of School/Childcare for Kids with Feeding Challenges:

• Peer modelling: Seeing other kids eating a variety of foods that they may not see at home can help with exposure to new foods.
• Self-feeding: Staff typically encourage self-feeding as soon as possible.
• Learning new skills: For example, cup drinking. Many childcare programs introduce open cup drinking from an early age.
• Regular schedule: Schools and childcare programs follow a schedule versus a grazing pattern which helps with appetite development.
• Shorter mealtimes: Schools/childcares often limit mealtimes to around 20 minutes, which can match young children's shorter attention spans and can support appetite development between meals and snacks.
• Different caregivers: A different caregiver and environment can sometimes shift established mealtime patterns.

The transition to school can take time, especially when eating is already challenging. Be patient with your child and with yourself as you find the routines and supports that work best for your family. Wishing your child a happy school year filled with growing confidence, positive mealtime experiences, and plenty of little successes along the way!